Can you Forgive Me?

I utterly forgot about this particular blog.

Forgive me.

But I have been keeping up a different one, and began a new one for a business, though I may just use this blog instead.

Any readers out there?

Looking for a Friend

I know it's Thanksgiving. I have much to be thankful for, but right now I need someone's shoulder to cry on.

It seems no matter what I do, I'm always put on the back burner because the mistakes and screwups of others. I have to cancel things I'd planned, give up days when I could work, and sacrifice time helping them out - only to have them shove things in my face, take away the few things I enjoy and make life one miserable circle of Dante.

Then, when I think about all of this I feel like a complete jerk. As though I sholdn't be complaining because of what has happened. I feel like I'm acting like an entitled brat who doesn't deserve this because 'the other person is doing something better'. Then I feel like crap all over again.

It's this neverending cycle of 'what am I doing wrong', and 'why am I the one crying'?


There's no one I can turn to - so I'm just looking for a friend right now. Someone who doesn't know me, who can tell me things will somehow work out even though they're completely screwed up and life just completely sucks and this entire year has been nothing but huge beat down until I'm so far in the dirt I don't know which way is up.



Just, looking for a friend.

Intern - Costumes - Sleep

I've been working at an intership since the beginning of August. So far, it's been unpaid, which I didn't really mind (till today really). Starting today (technically Wednesday) I'm getting paid to do the intern. Right now I'm doing voice overs, which is ironic considering I'm working on an audio project with a group of others.

It's a splendind gig, a 9-5 weekday thing that's flexible in case of emergency. Sometimes though I think that working a job is what hits me. Rephrase: I like working, but I don't. I want something to do each day, to feel like I've accomplished something, but I don't really like working. Maybe someday I'll figure out that problematic situation.


In other news, I've acquired the ingredients needed for a Halloween costume I've been wanting to make for over a decade. Everything is in place, and I've been lucky enough to have some help from an excellent costumer/semestress. The progress is coming along (I'll include photos at the bottom of this post.) Basically, I have the pattern for the dress Christine Daae wears in the 2004 movie version of "The Phantom of the Opera", specifically the Masquerade scene. It's not in pink, as I have fair skin and the light color wouldn't work with me - so it's Royal Blue (according fabric.com). I'm glad that this is finally happening! I will have to make a few adjustments, as it's chilly out - so I will be making attachable sleeves to go with it. Hopefully I'll become a better blogger and keep my follower updated. :)


As for sleep - it seems that no matter how much I try, going to sleep early only seems to get my body rested. My mind prefers to stay up and awake. Or it could be because of that ONE FREKIN COLD SPOT ON THE SMALL OF MY BACK!

Seriously - every night! I've got a blanket, two heavier comforters (a bit threadworne, but still useable) and about five extra mini ones! (I had to add another one last night, but it didn't quite work out.)

I love the cold, but I despise it at the same time. I need some decent sleep - especially since I went to bed about two hours before I normally do.

Being a night owl I often stay up late - getting more things done than I normally would. It works well, because I always get 8 hours of sleep. Sometimes if I go to be at 12 (or around thearabouts) I can be up at 8 and feel fine. Maybe last night was just an odd witch. In bed about 11:30 - up all night, then finally kicking the bucket at 7:15. Which is odd because  I stayed in bed till about 8 - just to grab some extra rest - but it didn't really help. Still yawning like a cat over here.


So there's an update - and probably more information that you wanted to know for the day.


((Here's the Photos so far - I took more last night and will upload them later on.))

Freelance Writer - At Your Service

I'm back - hopefully I can update this weekly. Who knows?

So - I'm looking to make a little extra cash and someone (and the internet) said one of the best ways is to freelance write. They both recommended starting out by blogging.

Well.

I have a blog.

True, I don't update it as much as I'd like and find that some days are better at blogging than others. Though I guess that's the rub of it, eh?


I think I'd be a great freelance writer - I have enough time (at the moment) to write about things. I've written (still am) short stories while working on a novel (which, who isn't at this time in the world?).


I'll probably peruse the locals/newspapers and see if I can dig something up. If anyone who reads this knows of anyone I should contact - feel free to drop a line!



Who knew?

August

So, no update from me since April. I guess the A months are winning out.

It's been hectic the last few months. I rarely get a moment to breathe anymore. This job is crazy and fast-paced. Some days I get home just to take a shower and sleep.


But, in the long run, it's not so bad. I've managed to save more in these few months than half a year in a retail position. That's will taking a little out of each paycheck to use on food and essentials for two weeks between paychecks.

I have today off - which is kinda weird. It's the first day off in over two weeks, but considering most of the other drivers work for almost a month with no break, I'm not too complainy. Tonight they have a company whale watching thing - I'm not going. I waited until I knew what my paycheck would be and then called and asked if I could still sign up today - apparently the cut off date was Thursday. Jerks. Oh well, that's saving the $25 dollars they want from everyone.

Tonight, if I don't hear back from my non-driver friend, I'll go see "Guardians of the Galaxy" and grab some take out. Or I'll stay in and have a "Dr Who" marathon.

Right now "The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" is on TNT. Best day ever. Watching Pirates, then Dr Who on commercials. Best way to spend a rainy day.


So - there's my little update - for anyone still reading this.



~Adieu

One Month So Far

So far I've been up in Alaska for a few days over a month.

Things have been different since coming up here. I've learned to control some things, while learning to live on my own without the help of my parents financially speaking. Living within the means that I have has been exceptionally difficult so far - since I only had so much that I came up here with.

Today is another milestone - my new roommate arrives today! I'm kinda of excited and absolutely terrified. I haven't had a roommate since back in high school when I had to share a room with one of my sisters. There are so many odd quirks that I have and I hope we can find our mutual point of understanding and hopefully become friends.

To all my friends who've had college roommates: how did you get along? What kind of advice would you give to someone who's never lived with a non-family member before?


I feel like I'm way behind the curve with this one. Any advice would be helpful.



~Adieu

North to Alaska!

It's finally happening.

I'm getting the chance to move out on my own. It's a 6 month stint working for a cruise line, but it's in a place where I have no relations.

I leave this week and haven't started packing yet. I really don't want to. I was going to do it all today - but I just don't want to. What the heck do I pack for 6 months? How do I fit it all in one checked bag?


Anyway, just thought I'd update with a happier note to leave you on. (If anyone is reading this thing at all.)


Glad to be able to go out into the world and see how I cope.



Any advice, recommendations are warmly welcomed!