I know it's Thanksgiving. I have much to be thankful for, but right now I need someone's shoulder to cry on.
It seems no matter what I do, I'm always put on the back burner because the mistakes and screwups of others. I have to cancel things I'd planned, give up days when I could work, and sacrifice time helping them out - only to have them shove things in my face, take away the few things I enjoy and make life one miserable circle of Dante.
Then, when I think about all of this I feel like a complete jerk. As though I sholdn't be complaining because of what has happened. I feel like I'm acting like an entitled brat who doesn't deserve this because 'the other person is doing something better'. Then I feel like crap all over again.
It's this neverending cycle of 'what am I doing wrong', and 'why am I the one crying'?
There's no one I can turn to - so I'm just looking for a friend right now. Someone who doesn't know me, who can tell me things will somehow work out even though they're completely screwed up and life just completely sucks and this entire year has been nothing but huge beat down until I'm so far in the dirt I don't know which way is up.
Just, looking for a friend.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Friday, October 23, 2015
Intern - Costumes - Sleep
I've been working at an intership since the beginning of August. So far, it's been unpaid, which I didn't really mind (till today really). Starting today (technically Wednesday) I'm getting paid to do the intern. Right now I'm doing voice overs, which is ironic considering I'm working on an audio project with a group of others.
It's a splendind gig, a 9-5 weekday thing that's flexible in case of emergency. Sometimes though I think that working a job is what hits me. Rephrase: I like working, but I don't. I want something to do each day, to feel like I've accomplished something, but I don't really like working. Maybe someday I'll figure out that problematic situation.
In other news, I've acquired the ingredients needed for a Halloween costume I've been wanting to make for over a decade. Everything is in place, and I've been lucky enough to have some help from an excellent costumer/semestress. The progress is coming along (I'll include photos at the bottom of this post.) Basically, I have the pattern for the dress Christine Daae wears in the 2004 movie version of "The Phantom of the Opera", specifically the Masquerade scene. It's not in pink, as I have fair skin and the light color wouldn't work with me - so it's Royal Blue (according fabric.com). I'm glad that this is finally happening! I will have to make a few adjustments, as it's chilly out - so I will be making attachable sleeves to go with it. Hopefully I'll become a better blogger and keep my follower updated. :)
As for sleep - it seems that no matter how much I try, going to sleep early only seems to get my body rested. My mind prefers to stay up and awake. Or it could be because of that ONE FREKIN COLD SPOT ON THE SMALL OF MY BACK!
Seriously - every night! I've got a blanket, two heavier comforters (a bit threadworne, but still useable) and about five extra mini ones! (I had to add another one last night, but it didn't quite work out.)
I love the cold, but I despise it at the same time. I need some decent sleep - especially since I went to bed about two hours before I normally do.
Being a night owl I often stay up late - getting more things done than I normally would. It works well, because I always get 8 hours of sleep. Sometimes if I go to be at 12 (or around thearabouts) I can be up at 8 and feel fine. Maybe last night was just an odd witch. In bed about 11:30 - up all night, then finally kicking the bucket at 7:15. Which is odd because I stayed in bed till about 8 - just to grab some extra rest - but it didn't really help. Still yawning like a cat over here.
So there's an update - and probably more information that you wanted to know for the day.
((Here's the Photos so far - I took more last night and will upload them later on.))
It's a splendind gig, a 9-5 weekday thing that's flexible in case of emergency. Sometimes though I think that working a job is what hits me. Rephrase: I like working, but I don't. I want something to do each day, to feel like I've accomplished something, but I don't really like working. Maybe someday I'll figure out that problematic situation.
In other news, I've acquired the ingredients needed for a Halloween costume I've been wanting to make for over a decade. Everything is in place, and I've been lucky enough to have some help from an excellent costumer/semestress. The progress is coming along (I'll include photos at the bottom of this post.) Basically, I have the pattern for the dress Christine Daae wears in the 2004 movie version of "The Phantom of the Opera", specifically the Masquerade scene. It's not in pink, as I have fair skin and the light color wouldn't work with me - so it's Royal Blue (according fabric.com). I'm glad that this is finally happening! I will have to make a few adjustments, as it's chilly out - so I will be making attachable sleeves to go with it. Hopefully I'll become a better blogger and keep my follower updated. :)
As for sleep - it seems that no matter how much I try, going to sleep early only seems to get my body rested. My mind prefers to stay up and awake. Or it could be because of that ONE FREKIN COLD SPOT ON THE SMALL OF MY BACK!
Seriously - every night! I've got a blanket, two heavier comforters (a bit threadworne, but still useable) and about five extra mini ones! (I had to add another one last night, but it didn't quite work out.)
I love the cold, but I despise it at the same time. I need some decent sleep - especially since I went to bed about two hours before I normally do.
Being a night owl I often stay up late - getting more things done than I normally would. It works well, because I always get 8 hours of sleep. Sometimes if I go to be at 12 (or around thearabouts) I can be up at 8 and feel fine. Maybe last night was just an odd witch. In bed about 11:30 - up all night, then finally kicking the bucket at 7:15. Which is odd because I stayed in bed till about 8 - just to grab some extra rest - but it didn't really help. Still yawning like a cat over here.
So there's an update - and probably more information that you wanted to know for the day.
((Here's the Photos so far - I took more last night and will upload them later on.))
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Freelance Writer - At Your Service
I'm back - hopefully I can update this weekly. Who knows?
So - I'm looking to make a little extra cash and someone (and the internet) said one of the best ways is to freelance write. They both recommended starting out by blogging.
Well.
I have a blog.
True, I don't update it as much as I'd like and find that some days are better at blogging than others. Though I guess that's the rub of it, eh?
I think I'd be a great freelance writer - I have enough time (at the moment) to write about things. I've written (still am) short stories while working on a novel (which, who isn't at this time in the world?).
I'll probably peruse the locals/newspapers and see if I can dig something up. If anyone who reads this knows of anyone I should contact - feel free to drop a line!
Who knew?
So - I'm looking to make a little extra cash and someone (and the internet) said one of the best ways is to freelance write. They both recommended starting out by blogging.
Well.
I have a blog.
True, I don't update it as much as I'd like and find that some days are better at blogging than others. Though I guess that's the rub of it, eh?
I think I'd be a great freelance writer - I have enough time (at the moment) to write about things. I've written (still am) short stories while working on a novel (which, who isn't at this time in the world?).
I'll probably peruse the locals/newspapers and see if I can dig something up. If anyone who reads this knows of anyone I should contact - feel free to drop a line!
Who knew?
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
